Mr. Beetle’s Kerfuffle

By Melody Elizabeth

Mr. Beetle’s Tale:

A beetle returned home one stormy afternoon. He scurried down the dirt path, scuttled under the manzanita, and burrowed down until he had joined his family in their cozy den.

“How did you find the world?” his wife asked, wiping her hands on her apron. She and the children had been preparing decorations for their summer solstice celebration.

“Yes, father, tell us!” his children cried, gathering round. They had not yet ventured out into the world, and their curiosity was strong. It was three days until the solstice, which meant three days until their first time leaving the den. All were determined to make their way in the world, and they were hungry for any information they could get.

“Well, my dear family,” he began, resting in his favorite chair by the hearth, “the strangest thing happened to me this afternoon.”

His children inched closer and his wife paused to listen, hooked by the beginning of his tale.

“I had been digging in the garden, so I was a bit dirty. My usual

shiny black armor was dingy with dust, and I was ready to come home to clean up. I checked to make sure it was safe, which it was, so I took the fast way home.”

“Down the sidewalk by the garage?” his youngest son asked.

“Yes,” Mr. Beetle replied. 

“But you said,…” his middle child started.

“I know, I know,” he cut her off, lifting two of his legs. “It was the more dangerous path, but I was tired and dirty and I wanted to come home. So I took it.” He shrugged before continuing. “There I was, making my way down the sidewalk when without warning I was attacked from behind.” 

His wife and children gasped at exactly the same moment, which Mr. Beetle felt was a rather satisfying sound to hear.

“I spun around, and attacked!” he continued. 

His children filled their home with whoops and hollers, celebrating their dad’s courage. 

“Did you get ‘em?” asked his eldest son.

Shaking his head, Mr. Beetle admitted, “No one was there.”

His family looked just as confused as he had felt. “Now, I’ve been attacked before,” he reminded them, holding up his gimpy middle leg, “but there’s always been someone there. A bird or a mouse, a fox or some such.” He waved the predators away as if they were nothing of concern, but everyone in the den knew they were very much otherwise.

“This time, there was nothing except a splotch of water.”

“Water?” His children chorused.

“Water,” he confirmed with a a single nod. “I gave it a good thrashing for an instant before I realized it was just water. I come out swinging, you know.” 

His children nodded in unison. 

“But I have been a beetle for a very long time, and it takes more than that to fool me.”

“It sure does!” his youngest daughter blurted out.

Mr. Beetle smiled. It felt good to know his family believed in him. 

“I have taught you everything I know to live in this world as a successful and happy beetle. Today I learned something new to share with you. Learn from my experience, children. There are invisible predators in the world, and sometimes they throw water at you.” 

“Yes, Papa,” they said as one. Mr. Beetle’s children took in his lesson, tucking the knowledge away for the future.

Mrs. Beetle got up from her chair and kissed her husband on the top of his head. She ran one arm down his back. “You are not so dirty and dusty as you made it sound in your tale,” she told him.

“When the predator threw water at me, it washed the dirt off,” he explained.

“Good, then since you are clean, we can finish our decorations as a family,” said Mrs. Beetle, who herded her brood toward the kitchen table, thankful to be together with everyone safe at home.

The Raindrop’s Tale:

A raindrop evaporated from a dusty sidewalk. Condensing into cloud, she joined other droplets preparing for their next fall to earth.

“How’d the last rain go for you?” she asked the droplets near her. 

“I landed on a leaf that was so big I just sat there. In no time I evaporated back into the sky,” said the first. “It was kind of a bummer.” 

“I landed in a stream and flowed down the canyon until I was splashed onto a rock and turned to vapor. It was great! I’m ready to go again!” exclaimed the second. 

“That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! Sign me up!” said the first.

“What about you?” the second droplet asked our raindrop.

“The strangest thing happened to me this afternoon,” she began. The other droplets moved closer to hear her tale. “I love the mystery and surprise of falling wherever the storm releases me. I’ve fallen on deserts and in ponds, on plants and pine trees. Once I fell on the top of a cow’s head!”

“Once I fell in cow poop!” a third drop said to the laughter of all who were listening. 

“So today,” our raindrop continued, “just before we were released into the sky, another raindrop and I were goofing around. As we waited, we played bumperdrops.”

The other droplets nodded. It was everyone’s favorite game.

“Did you knock him into the next storm?” the first drop asked. 

“No, but I did get in a good bump the moment before we fell,” our raindrop said with pride. 

“Then what happened?” the second drop asked.

“He zoomed in out of nowhere and bumped me so hard it changed where I was falling.”

A collective “wow” came from the rest of the drops. 

“So I went after him, and we kept the game going all the way down.”

“I didn’t know we could do that,” the first said. “I thought bumperdrops was only a cloud game. Anyone want to try on our next fall?”

“Just wait, you might not,” our raindrop cautioned. “At the very last second, he won the game. He got in a final bump that sent me sideways, and I careened into the backend of a beetle.”

“Ewwwww,” chorused the listening drops.

“Hey,” our raindrop said, “at least it wasn’t cow poop.”

“What did you do?” the second droplet asked.

“The beetle spun around and started attacking with his pinchers. But, you know, I’m water, so they just went right through me.”

Laughter rumbled through her part of the cloud.

“I wonder if he knows what happened?” asked the second droplet.

“How could he?” our raindrop replied. 

“What if he thinks you attacked him?” the first drop laughed. “Like, he’s at home right now telling his family about an invisible water attacker who tried to get ‘em!”

All of the drops who had been listening to the tale roared with laughter at the ridiculousness of that idea. An attacking water drop? What nonsense!

“It’s time!” a drop from elsewhere in the cloud called out. 

“Get ready for falling bumperdrops!” shouted the first droplet.

“You’re on!” several other drops yelled, rushing toward the first drop to get in an early bump.

“Not me!” our raindrop cried. “I’ve had enough beetle backside.” 

With a swirl of energy that coursed through the cloud, the storm's power increased. The drops grew heavy and let go as they plummeted toward their next adventure, be it leaves or rivers, sidewalks or noses, skateboards or slides, or big ol’ pile of cow poop.